Hat and Glasses

I didn’t know who they were.  Then I did.  Then I didn’t again.  This went on for ages.  It went on for what seemed nearly forever.  I would know who they were and then I wouldn’t.  But this is what I called them when I did know who they were.  I called them HAT and GLASSES.

Hat and Glasses came to our house every so often.  Once in a while.  Now and again.  They came with smiles, funny faces and sometimes presents. Hat made funny noises and Glasses helped me walk around.

I know who they are now.  They are Grandma Glasses and Grandad Hat.  They come to our house for tea and cake or because of a visit.  And we go to see them, in their nice big house with a garden where I can run around and play on my bike.

But I couldn’t then.  Then I couldn’t walk.  Well not without help from Grandma Glasses.

Grandma Glasses had big eyes.  She would take her glasses off and put them on and take them off over and over again but that still was not enough.  Grandad Hat would come and smile and show his teeth and wink and poke his tongue out.

They seemed very, very big and they smelt of things that were ever so far away.  Glasses came to drink tea and Hat to eat cake.  And biscuits.

Grandad Hat it was who showed me how to eat biscuits.  I couldn’t eat them like him when I was that small but I soon would.  He would push one biscuit into his mouth in one go, close his mouth around it and crunch.  I tried to do that and choked.  Grandma Glasses blamed Grandad Hat for me choking.

When they came to our house they came in from outside.  I thought they lived outside.  I thought all the people who came to see us were always outside the front foor just waiting there until Mummy or Daddy called them.  They waited out there,just behind the hedge and talked about things like tea and how to eat biscuits.

The thing was, when I managed to get to the window to look, I could never see them.  Perhaps they were too well hidden behind the hedge.

Hat and Glasses behind the hedge? I asked my Mummy one day.  I must have been nearly two.

Mummy told Daddy later.  They opened their mouths a lot and made this noise: HUR HUR.  Well Daddy did.  Mummy made this noise: HEEEEE

I know now, of course.  They were laughing.  Grandad Hat and Grandma Glasses were not behind the hedge.  They were probably in Italy.  They liked going on holiday there.  I might go there one day, said Mum.


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